Yale Crush

For God. For Country. For Yale.

Passion, dedication, perseverance.  These Yalies turn the heat up on human rights.  They’re hot.  Their work is hot.  Let them light your fire.

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Name: Lily Dorman Colby

College: Morse
Year: 2010
Major: Economics

“In the long run, every single Yale student should take time to consider, about taking in a foster kid. A few years down the road, when you are thinking about starting a family, that would be the best way you can help. We need more families who are available to take in kids.”

YJHR: Why do you care about foster care reform?

LILY: I know what it is like to be in a difficult situation and I understand how lucky I am to have made it to college. I grew up in a very unstable home. My parents both suffered from mental health problems. My father’s schizophrenic and my mother is bipolar and it left for a lot of chaos…As I aged things kept getting worse and worse. My mother turned to drugs. As that was going on, I was in a tough spot and my brothers were in a tough spot. So, I entered foster care to never return back to my parents when I was 12.

Before I went into foster care, though, I started to do well in school. I was in this chaotic home environment when I realized (during the summer between my fifth grade and sixth grade years) that I needed to work harder in school. I almost failed the fifth grade; I had missed over 50 days of class. I almost dropped out of elementary school. And, [meanwhile] things just kept getting worse with my family environment. We had prostitutes and homeless people coming in and out of our house. I realized there was a huge contrast between my friends’ lives and their families and their lives. So, I decided that I needed to do well in school or I’m going to end up in [that] neighborhood when I grew up.

As I was doing well in school, I noticed that other people weren’t [doing well in school]. There were a whole lot of people who, in our difficult circumstances, weren’t succeeding. It was in part because, during foster care, I had a lot more support…but there were other kids who didn’t have that.

YJHR: So, what did you do about that?

LILY: I got involved with an organization called Youth Together. They would try to try to mentor other youth and help people transition into high school. They would do teachings on economic equality and the importance of education.

YJHR: You grew up in Berkeley, CA and mentioned once that they encourage youth involvement. How were you able to get involvement?

LILY: They allow one student to sit on the school board and, in my senior year, I got to be that person. On the grant committee, I made an argument for one proposal against my principal in that he wanted to buy spin cycle bicycles and I thought we needed another counsel to help at-risk youth who might drop out…I was able to convince the majority of the committee to go with the counselor. On the school board however, I only had an advisory vote, but I would always make sure the other board members would think about how particular policies affected at-risk students.

YJHR: What do you want to see changed?

LILY: Some of the things I would like to see changed are the education opportunities available to foster kids today. Statistics for college graduation rates for foster kids range from one percent to five percent and only about 50 percent of foster kids graduate from high school. Connecticut has done an amazing thing where any kid that gets into college, they will foot the bill up to the cost of UConn, but we need to expand programs like this one to other states.

YJHR: What can Yale students do?

LILY: In the long run, every single Yale student should take time to consider, about taking in a foster kid. A few years down the road, when you are thinking about starting a family, that would be the best way you can help. We need more families who are available to take in kids. There is a shortage for foster homes and only 25 percent of foster parents have college education. Foster kids need more role models.

In the mean time, they can volunteer for Children in Placement (CIP) in New Haven. This would be a great opportunity especially for students who are interested in helping kids or going to law school. What CIP does is train and support Court-Appointed Special Advocate. These volunteers – meet with a child in the court system, their parents, foster parents and teachers and then write independent reports for the presiding dependency court judge, on what is in the best for the child. Also, if there are Yale students who are freshmen or sophomores who want to become Court-Appointed Special Advocate, they can. They just need to make a two-year commitment to check in with this kid once a month and write the necessary reports for the court. It’s an amazing experience because you get to act as a mentor for the youth while also learning about legal advocacy.

To learn more about Children and Placement and to get involved, Lily suggests you call the office at (203) 784-0344. There office is only a couple blocks from campus at 300 Whalley Avenue.

Name: Sugar Magnolia

College: Silliman
Year: 2010
Major: Women’s, Gender, & Sexuality Studies

“Get it together America so we can work on real issues like poverty and racism.”

YJHR: What is the drag collaborative? How did it coming into being? What is its goal?

SUGAR: Bad Romance is a venue for a drag troupe to come together and create a performance that celebrates drag history and queer existence. So basically I’ve planned and performed a couple of drag balls during as my time as LGBT Co-op coordinator and it’s always been really fun and people have been really excited about it – but it’s also been really hectic and super last minute, performances coming together on that night. And I would say that, as someone who, I wouldn’t say has a gift – but I have worked very hard at getting money from Yale to do queer things and I wanted to end my senior year as a farewell to the “queerborhood” and do a big performance that had all the fancy accoutrement of a regular performance. So getting a Sudler fund and getting money so we could actually invest in costumes and props and working together so there would be real community before going on to the stage to perform.

I decided to call it Bad Romance because I love Lady Gaga, and think she is one of our generation’s most amazing drag queens—which is a complicated thing to say because she’s cisgender (same gender) – and the history of drag is rooted in cross gender play and performance.

I advertised through various panelists and postering and a lot of people to tried out which was hard because I didn’t want to cut anybody. But basically the troupe that I’m working with now, represents a spectrum of drag experience and drag art. So we have someone who has never performed drag before to someone who’s like done multiple performances not only in their schools but also in their hometowns. We have someone who is experienced in performance theory, and we have someone who may not have ever read a book on queer art but is the most incredible dancer that you’ll ever meet in your entire life.

YJHR: Does Bad Romance include allies of queers too?

SUGAR: Not everyone is queer – people are allies too. And that’s exactly what I wanted. I wanted different body types, different ethnicities, styles, queer identities etc. I wanted it to be diverse. Because, I wanted us to be a collaborative that was conscientious not only in creating a safe space and creating a beautiful performance, but also looking deep within ourselves and building a community within the group, and really pushing ourselves to think critically about gender performance and art history through drag. So I’m very excited about the group that we have and the kind of community we’ve built.

YJHR: So is Bad Romance an acting troupe or are you doing a show?

SUGAR: This is meant to be a show. A lot of us are seniors, but I also hope this sparks an interest on campus. And I already talked to one of the juniors who is interested in doing a senior show on drag. I’m just encouraging people to reach out to Yale’s resources and get money to do performances, and not just settle to do the basement performance, which is fantastic and really important but when you go to a school like Yale that has money that they can just give out to you I think it’s really important, especially in minority groups, to take advantage of that and flourish from it.

YJHR: So are you writing a script together?

SUGAR: No – I decided not to write a script. I thought about it for a long time, because I’m kind of bossy and I was like, “Is this really going to be a collaborative or am I just going to be bossing people around?” And I decided that honestly, since I am a performer, producer, and director it’s not a true collaborative but that everyone should have an equal voice always. I want it to be a really safe space where everyone can share their feelings and thoughts and ideas, and each person have their own input into the ultimate story arch.

But you know, since I’m the producer and the director. So on some level, I do have a leadership role in the drag troupe – but each person contributed some ideas and thoughts, and then the ultimate song list will be a collection of all our ideas. And then, some will be solos, some will be multiple people in one performance, and the finale will involve all of us.

YJHR: So it’s kind of like a spotlight on different queer stories and queer art?

SUGAR: The running narrative is Bad Romance: so every piece will have to do with Bad Romance. So yeah, there is a running theme to it but it’s in a very flexible structure. Also, the other people in my troupe are amazing, and one of the reasons why our performance is going to work is because it is a diverse group of people. I’m not running the show because, first of all, I’m white, I’m cisgender, and I do femme queen performance. So, that’s really important to have that representation but it’s also a fairly new – well, burlesque isn’t new, but recognizing that there are drag queens who are women is kind of a new art.

YJHR: What’s cigsgender?

SUGAR: Cisgender is a just a term that arose around the term transgender to recognize that I identify as a woman, but I’m a female bodiedperson.

And honestly, I don’t feel as comfortable doing a lot of masculine drag. I like to put on the glitter and fake eyelashes.

Actually there’s a funny story about that. When I first came out, I was butch for two weeks because I didn’t know how else to signify that I was gay so like I bought a pair of jeans and I ripped them and I wore a white A shirt – it was freshman year of college. And then I was like, “Well where the fuck are my dresses?!” And then that summer, I was in Tel Aviv, and they had a drag workshop and I thought oh I’ll get in touch with my masculine side.

And at the drag workshop I was like great, let’s play with my masculine side because I should love doing drag and I’m feminine. And I bound my breasts and I put on facial hair – and I was just so uncomfortable! I was with all these incredible people, but I was so sad.

And I felt this internal pressure that I had to show masculinity and that was the drag I needed to do. And then I just said, “What am I doing?” And I unbound my breasts and ripped off my facial hair and put on my fake eyelashes and lipstick and negligee and I was like, yes. This is what I want.

But since then it’s been a journey to find my community in New York city, which is a bunch of femme women who do feminine performances and kind of realize how fluid the gender spectrum really is.

YJHR: Why is sexuality so important as a human right?

SUGAR: So my quick caveat is: the gay rights movement makes a lot of analogies to the Civil Rights movement, and that can be really complicated because, especially the mainstream marriage equality movement is often deemed disconnected from the LGBT communities of color. And especially in the aftermath of Prop 8 passing in California, there was really a reactionary response that really demonized the black community: the argument was that it’s because African American people voted, that’s why Proposition 8 passed. When, in reality, it wasn’t that at all. It had to do with the age and religion of the voters as opposed to anything else, and the initial response was truly ignorant and cruel.

It’s important I think for the LGBT movement to be very conscientious when we’re making analogies to the Civil Rights movement how we’re appropriating that narrative and how we need to do it in a really respectful way and acknowledge that there are differences. And when we’re maybe making analogies that we’re also listening to the voices of LGBT communities of color and lower income, and not just the privileged white gay men who want marriage.

But, to your question, I think really that sexuality is a human right because when you’re allowed to love people – this is super idealistic – but when you’re allowed to be with the people that you are attracted to, the world is a better place. And, I will make a quick plug, I’m very tied in to gender identity and gender presentation. I think the biggest crisis of today is the way we treat transgender people. I think people have begun to understand why recognizing the rights of gay and lesbian and bisexual people is important, but it becomes harder for them to understand when you start talking to them about gender presentation and gender identity. So I do hope that one day our society will really be a place in which the feelings we have in our hearts are allowed to come through, because I think that’s going to help communities to focus on larger things like poverty, racism, classism, etc.

Once we start opening up our hearts to people it’s amazing what can be accomplished.

YJHR: What is the biggest challenge facing the LGBT rights group in America?

SUGAR: If marriage equality passed, which is something I’m not even interested in, but if marriage equality passed all these really rich donors who are spending incredible amounts of money on referendum and trying to ensure this type of justice will be able to focus on what I consider to be the real atrocities which are: the type of ways transgender people are treated in prison, the type of brutality being committed against sex workers and LGBT youth of color in particular: black masculine presenting women, and African American effeminate men.

[Just to clarify] transgender is an umbrella term: it encompasses people who were born with and assigned a certain gender but are choosing to live their lives as the opposite gender or not that gender.

I actually think our biggest challenge is how our legal system is being used ineffectively and against the transgender community – and also the rising HIV/AIDS rate in young LGBT communities, especially amongst men of color. Gay men of color between 18 and 24 are at the highest level of risk for HIV. Unfortunately, the people who have a lot of money are focusing on marriage equality. I can’t do anything about that but if we somehow got marriage equality passed maybe they’d start paying attention to something like harm reduction services, where even a sixteenth of the money they’ve spent on marriage would go miles farther.

At this point, I’m like, really we can’t get married? It’s almost like, so ridiculous to me, that I don’t even care. I feel that that’s just so bigoted it’s just like – Oh my God, I don’t have time to deal with this shit. Get it together America so we can work on real issues like poverty and racism.

YJHR: What is the most importance LGBT issues facing Yale campus? And is Bad Romance in anyway addressing that? And how is that connected to Bad Romance if at all?

SUGAR: I think that Yale is a little bit of a microcosm of general society – well, maybe in liberal parts of society, where lesbian and gay people are generally accepted. There’s always the case of some asshole saying something inappropriate on campus, but Yale’s pretty lucky in having that being kind of the exception as opposed to the rule.

That being said, mixed gender housing passed, which is really exciting but it only passed for seniors. We don’t have transgender healthcare covered under Yale University health plan, Basically it’s just the fact that our administration has opened its doors to lesbian, gay, and bisexual people, but is much more wary of addressing transgender needs. Part of that seems to be some inherent innate trans-phobia, and the other part is an attitude of “Well, there’s not enough – there are no transgender people here!”

I think it’s an unfortunate cycle. If you’re not going to make a policy that addresses transgender needs, then you’re not going to get transgender students. You’re limiting yourself for your incoming freshman class. And that’s unfortunate, and discriminatory, especially when Yale is hoping to be a rising institution of the brightest and the best.

Bad Romance is revolutionary in the sense that it’s celebrating our diversity as a community, but it’s rebellious revelry. I think that people in my troop and me in particular have spent a lot of time on the activist side of things and I wanted to do a performance where I could celebrate in my community and celebrate the work we’ve done together kind of revel in our rebelliousness and the work we built together. That’s what Bad Romance is about. It’s about glitter and glam and ensuring that the Yale community knows that there is a thriving and also aware community – we’re not going to stop until mixed gender housing is available for the entire community. We’re going to continue to ensure that Yale continues to be a safe place for everyone because unfortunately, sometimes, people think that once you reach a certain point you can kind of relax, you can’t – that’s like the problem that all activists faced. It’s a continuous struggle.

The way that you succeed is that you occasionally take a break, and you go to a pub with your friends and have a beer – or you go to a performance – and you celebrate your glitter and fake eyelashes. So, this is a break, but it’s a lot of work – but it’s a different type of work.

YJHR: What incentive do heterosexuals have to get involved in the promotion of LGBT rights? Or in coming to see Bad Romance?

SUGAR: I feel it’s the same reason why I’m not a separatist, which I’ve thought about being – I think that when you open your arms and heart to people who are different from you, you learn a lot about yourself, and become a better person. With regards to Bad Romance, what’s the incentive? It’s just going to be a totally fucking awesome blowout performance with incredible people, and great music, so it will be a fantastic night.

I think anytime you are intolerant of other people, you are making the world a worse place for everybody. This a big stereotype, but I’m a stereotype so I feel like it’s okay: like, when I meet one of my friends, who is a football player in DKE, and we do not have the same political viewpoints but I think we really have an openness with one another. And I feel that way with other people on campus, who I don’t think would necessarily come with me to a rally, or maybe even necessarily come to Bad Romance but have met me and can maybe think a little bit differently about how the world works. And I feel a little bit differently about blaming and charging every football player with homophobia – because it’s not true and I’ve seen the sensitivity in their part as well.

It’s a hard thing to remain open, especially when that’s often used against you and when you’re vulnerable you can also be attacked. But I think it’s also the reason that we’re able to build alliances and make the world a better place.

YJHR: Why “Sugar Magnolia”?

SUGAR: I should really think of a fucking better story for this! I’ve been thinking about my name for a really long time, and I couldn’t figure it out and I kept thinking of all these Barbies I used to hate when I was 5, and then, I think I was playing Rock Band with my sweetie at the time. And then the song, Sugar Magnolia came on- and I was like, “That’s a song? That’s the most beautiful name I’ve ever heard.” And only later did I find out it was Grateful Dead, so now I seem really cool when I say Sugar Magnolia because all the dead heads are like, “WOW that’s SO awesome.” And I’m like, well I only knew it was a song after I picked the name. I picked my name this year.

And that’s one of the tasks – to pick a name – I asked of everyone in my troop, because I really feel that it’s important. Sugar is a part of me and Rachel is a part of Sugar, but it’s a distinct personality when I’m onstage. Because it really allows a whole another type of freedom when you’re performing.

YJHR: So is it the difference between being Rachel the activist and Sugar the performer?

SUGAR: Sugar is pretty fucking fierce. Sugar is definitely an activist. It’s just the way we do our activism. And that’s the one thing – Bad Romance is revolutionary Revelry but it still has revolution in it. Because our history is one where drag queens and kings, and gender fuckers were persecuted by our government and our society and are still often faced with brutality, emotional, or physical abuses.

So while we are in these safe Ivy walls and are contained, we’re paying tribute to the people who have fought for us to be able to have this freedom.

Bad Romance will be on April 3 and 4 at the Calhoun Cabaret 8pm – It’s free!